60· What Does Success Mean To You In 2025?
Podcast show notes
What does success really look like for you in 2025?
In this episode, I’ll walk you through a reflection on what’s worked, what hasn’t, and how to intentionally shape your year ahead.
We’ll explore defining success on your terms, reflecting on lessons from 2024, and setting goals (or intentions) that align with your values, not someone else’s expectations.
Here are the highlights
(01:00) Reflecting on 2024
(05:51) Acknowledging Challenges and Learning from Them
(08:55) Defining Personal Success in 2025
(13:22) Personal Reflections and Setting Intentions
(18:23) Summary
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Ruth
Welcome to Frustrated and Exhausted, the podcast for women in leadership, where I help you fulfill your ambitions without sacrificing your sanity or your resilience.
Hello and welcome to this episode of Frustrated and Exhausted. Thank you for being with me today wherever you are listening from. Trust the magic of new beginnings. That's a little quote on a postcard that's stuck to my wall at the moment and I love this time of year. If you might be listening at a different time of year, if you're coming back to this at different point but currently as I'm recording we're looking forward to new year and entering into 2025 and what we're going to be exploring today is what would make this year feel like a success to you? And is it sort of a particular goal that you've got in mind? Is it something that you want to feel, you know you want to feel differently about yourself or about something in your life? I absolutely love this time of year. I always feel hopeful and I know other people feel quite differently about it but for me it feels hopeful, iIt's like a clean slate, there's a whole year stretched out ahead of us and I feel like I'm on the cusp of an adventure, and I do love a little adventure as some of you who know me well might know and that can sort of take all different sorts of forms but what we're going to do in this episode is just have a little bit of a think about personally for you, what would make 2025 successful?
So before we kind of think about what's coming, it's always really important, and yes I've said it before, and I'm saying again, but it's really important to think about what's been, what's gone on this year, what's happened in 2024, you know thinking about what went well and what didn't, and I'd really encourage you while you're listening to this if you can just grab a bit of paper and a pen and doodle, jot this down, you know, pop down your kind of initial thoughts and you can always kind of come back to it later but thinking about 2024 now, if you kind of whiz yourself backwards to sort of the 1st of January 2024, just thinking about through this year, what's gone well and what hasn't, you know what's brought you real joy and happiness and what's kind of maybe made you sad or unhappy or frustrated, what have the challenges taught you that you've been through this year?
And some of the things that might immediately pop to mind are the big things, you know the kind of main milestones of your year. You know maybe you've had some big life changes, or you know maybe there's been some, a promotion, or something that really kind of stands out for you this year. But try and have a little bit of a think about some of the smaller things. It might have been a shift in your confidence. It might have been a relationship that's improved in some way. It might have been feeling that actually you're better prepared to handle some of the things that have been thrown at you? You know maybe you've been focused on getting fitter or losing weight or finding more balance in your life, you know whatever that has been, very often you know we think about those, those big chunky things that have happened, but actually what we also need to be doing is, is thinking about what were all the little small things along the way that actually made the bigger shifts? You know this is something that I often see with clients you know people talk when they work with coaches a lot about I had an aha moment in that session where just a light bulb went on and it's always brilliant from my perspective to see that happen. Actually some of the bigger transformations that take place for people take place over a slower period of time. It's, it's a process, it's not something that just instantly happens. You know we can have instant realisations about things but actually to make the changes, to make those things real, that takes time, and it takes being consistent about things, and there can be slower realisations and shifts inside ourselves that in the long term have a much greater impact. So it's really important to notice those things kind of as they're happening and you know I would invite you just to take a moment, you know press pause if you need to and just think about some of the little things that might have shifted for you. Maybe you started the year in a new job or something and you were feeling really unsteady on your feet or you know, not quite sure of yourself and if you look back and you sort of think now at the end of the year, maybe you're feeling a bit more confident, a bit more comfortable, a bit more credible in the role and that's really showing up in the way that you're delivering and leading.
Sometimes things don't go the way that we hope they will, and I think it's really important to kind of acknowledge that as part of this exercise as well. That might be something big that's happened or it might just be little things, you know there was a job you went for that you, you didn't get called to interview for or you did or you did and you didn't get it, or you hoped for a pay rise, that didn't happen. You had a big event that you were speaking at and you know that didn't go as well as you had hoped it would, and you know we all have those things happen all the time even though that's not what you're going to see is posting about on social media undoubtedly, but we do all have these little failures, I mean failure is quite a strong word but learning moments, those things though that we feel uncomfortable with when we think about them. But it is really important to think about them because actually there's loads of learning to come out. So if you've had moments like that in the year, again, press pause, sit with the discomfort just for a couple of minutes and think about what you learned from those experiences, and what you would do differently next time round. What's going to be different about how you approach those same things in 2025 compared to 2024? You know we can, we can learn from our wins and what we did to get there but we can learn from the lows as well and, and how we ended up there and what we want to change and do differently next time. That's fundamentally how we all grow and improve, so if we can kind of put aside any feelings of shame or guilt and just, just sit with it for a little minute and have a rummage around and think about actually what have I learned? What we're going to do differently next time? What maybe do I need to learn or adapt to a bit more in order that that will go well the next time that I do it?
Going through this sort of type of reflection can also really help us identify, you know what are the things that we want to take with us into 2025? You know, maybe it's that extra confidence, maybe it's a shift in mindset, maybe it's a feeling of groundedness that we've sort of got as we've developed this year. Maybe it's, it's a bit of fun, maybe actually this festive season, you know as we kind of hit the middle of winter and we've, we've had some fun with people and maybe we've realised that that's been missing a bit, maybe that's what we want to take with us into 2025. So really thinking about what those things are this year. Maybe it's a relationship. Maybe it's a feeling of connecting with people. Maybe it's a bubbling sense of ambition for yourself. Or maybe it's something that's a little more calm and peaceful. But what are the things that you want to carry forward into 2025? And of course the opposite of that, what do you want to leave behind? Maybe you've decided that it's finally time to kick your imposter to the curb and step up and try to feel more confident. Maybe you've decided it's time to kind of look at some of the things that have been holding you back. Maybe there's some anxiety or some fear about things that have been really holding you back and stopping you from, from moving forward that you, you want to let go of.
Maybe there's a feeling of lingering guilt or shame about something that didn't go well. And actually if you've looked at that and you know identified what went wrong and what you can do about it next time, it's time to let that stuff go. Maybe there's a feeling of overwhelm that sits with you all the time when you think about work and the sheer volume of what's expected, and maybe actually what you want in 2025 is to, to really hone in on the core areas where you want to focus your energy and effort and actually just let the other stuff go.
So when we think about success, you know, traditionally, we will think about promotions, we'll think about money, we'll think about stuff, you know I want a bigger house, better car, a fancier holiday. I want to be seen in a particular way and these are the things that will allow me to be seen in that way. These are, these are the things that show that I'm successful. But we can also think about success in other ways. You know, success can be about how we show up. It can be about trying, I'm going to give this stuff a go. I'm going to be a bit braver this year. It can be about personal growth. You know, it can be about developing yourself in some way. It can be about emotional well-being. Looking after yourself, putting your own needs first, both physically and mentally.
It can be about finding a better balance in your life between all the different things that you're involved with. You know that may be voluntary work and work and family and all the other things, but maybe you feel like the balance just isn't quite there at the moment and it's not quite working for you and maybe actually, success for you next year is looking at some changes around that to find something that really makes you feel good.
It can also be about creating boundaries and saying no to things. It's quite easy sometimes to just keep saying yes but sometimes actually creating some of those boundaries is what allows other growth to take place, and if our energy and effort is being sucked up with things we're not really that bothered about, or that other people are putting onto us then actually we maybe won't achieve what we want to achieve, so really kind of creating some firm boundaries for ourselves can be success.
Sometimes success can also be about a real sense of purpose and impact. And there's a lot of chat in kind of development circles around finding your purpose, knowing your purpose, and that can sometimes feel a little bit big and scary. The way that I like to think about it is what makes you feel purposeful? Is it about doing something for other people? Is it about actually delivering something tangible? Is it about working in a way that is really lined up with your personal values? Sometimes we think when we think about purpose, we think that it has to be about one thing, but actually it can just be about actually what do I want to have an impact on this year? Who do I want to have an impact on this year? What would make me when I do it, when I do stuff, what is it that makes me feel purposeful and full of that energy and drive? And that can be a slightly different way to think about that but, purpose, feeling purposeful, knowing that whatever it is that you spend your time doing and working on is actually having an impact outside of just you and your, your world, thinking about what the ripples are that you want to create. Maybe inside your team, maybe inside your family, maybe wider than that in society depending on, again what you do and your, your personal sort of feelings around impact and success.
It really is a personal thing success and yet society has really quite fixed views over, you know what success can mean and should look like and how we can be successful and that can really lead to us feeling like we're living somebody else's life for them rather than living our own lives. I had an interesting one this year where I was sort of invited to stand for election in the kind of county council elections in my area, and I really thought hard about it, partly because I had the voice of my high school modern studies teacher in my head, Mrs. Chaddock, who's a superstar, she was always just desperate for me to go into politics. We kept in touch after I left school and kind of touched base actually just a few years ago and, when this question kind of came up about whether I would, I would take a bit of a leap and stand for an election. I, I just could hear her voice, because she kept saying I really want one of my students to be Prime Minister, and I think you would, you could do it, which is a real full of confidence and a lovely thing to hear but I really don't want to be Prime Minister. So it's one of those things though that you think actually when these things come up sometimes it's not your own voice you're hearing in your head. Sometimes it's expectations of other people. It's other people's views of what you should want, what you could be capable of. Am I capable of being Prime Minister? Possibly, but that's not what I want in my life. And I think that it's really, really important to identify, or try to identify those voices and whose voices they are when, when we start to think about what success is going to mean to us going forward. So really, you know as you're thinking about next year and you're thinking about what you, what you might want to achieve next year, just sense check a little bit about whose voice that is that you're hearing and make sure it's yours. Make sure it's what you want, not what other people might expect or believe that you to be capable of. It's always very flattering when other people say, oh you could totally do this and sometimes it might give you the shove that you need, but that's no good if it's not actually what you want, so just making sure that whatever you're thinking right now is, is what you want and not somebody else's ideas.
Something I often like to do, I'm a bit sporadic with this, but I do, I have been known to have a bit of a mood board kind of for the year ahead, just like some with usually pretty simple for me because I'm not that creative but some photos of people I really want to have in my life and, and things that I really want to focus on and just so that I can glance up from my desk every day and kind of it just re-inspires me and kind of keeps me moving towards those things, and as part of that exercise I often choose kind of keywords for the year, and you know those are always personal to me, they're always linked in some way to my values, my core values, and kind of, it might be something that I've maybe not focused enough on in the year before that I want to give more attention to and I just find it keeps pulling me back into the sort of the right direction, so that might be something that you want to spend a little bit of time creating or doing if you like to do that sort of thing but think about something, and you know if, if you're not into vision boards and mood boards and things like that, you might even just really simply want to choose a word for the year or a couple of words that when you feel yourself being pulled in a different direction or pulled off track can bring you right back into actually, no this is what I want this year, and keep you moving in the direction that you want to go.
Some people are super goal orientated and they might want to set themselves a whole heap of SMART goals then to figure out how they're going to, how they're going to implement whatever it is that they want to change. For other people though intentions can be more helpful where you know actually this is about being more mindful and more purposeful in what you're heading towards. It's not necessarily about setting specific deadlines on things, it's about choosing a particular trajectory or focus, and kind of just, sometimes it's even just a feeling that you you want to embody this year and sort of setting kind of reminders that, that's that's the path that you're on rather than sort of deadlines and that sort of focus. So really think about what works for you. Personally intentions work better for me but, but everyone is different and that's good. So, you know really think about do you need a set of goals? Do you need accountability? Have you got something very, very specific that you want to focus on, or actually is this more about setting some intentions for the year and kind of going with it and seeing where you get to? It can really help shape your experiences and the outcomes that you can achieve in a year though even if you're not putting big pressure on yourself by kind of having deadlines and things, but just having that sense of direction can really be quite powerful.
So just a quick summary talked about can be the importance of reflecting and offered some questions for you to think about in terms of reflecting on 2024 and what you've learned from that, what you want to take forward, what you want to leave behind. Defining success, we've talked about that as well haven't we, you know, actually what is your personal definition of success in 2025? You know thinking about how that aligns with your values in particular.
And I've also just spoken briefly there about thinking about what really works for you. Are you somebody who really needs that focus of deadlines and goals in order to make a change, or actually, does that feel like a bit too much pressure and you want to maybe set just some intentions to create a kind of a meaningful path forward?
You know really think about how you can be flexible with this as well and and can it be kind to yourself as you sort of move into the new year because this shouldn't feel like a whole lot of pressure. It should feel like actually I'm holding these things in mind and this is the path that I'm going down, I want to make this happen and I can choose how I go about doing that. Sometimes when we come into it too rigid it can sort of actually get in our way and if you have perfectionist tendencies in particular, if you go into this too rigid and with, it can really augment that perfectionism and actually end up stopping you making progress.
As you head into 2025 I wish you all the very best, health, happiness, everything that you're seeking. Remember that success isn't an end point, there is no end point, it's about the journey and I hope that 2025 is filled with the growth that you're seeking. Take care. Speak to you next week.
Thanks for listening to this episode of Frustrated and Exhausted. Hit the follow button for future episodes. You can also follow me on Instagram at Resonate Leadership and LinkedIn at Ruth Alexandra Wood, I'd absolutely love to hear from you. Frustrated and Exhausted is brought to you by Resonate Leadership and the wonderful team at the Podcast Boutique. I'm your host Ruth Wood. Take care and speak to you soon
